Saturday, March 19, 2011

It Is Breaking My Heart

I am going to have to give up my beloved goats. We have already had kids born and I didn't share any photos or birthing stories. I didn't have the heart to. I decided during the worst of the winter weather that I would sell my goats.Until I have the means to build a barn very close to my house to properly shelter my animals and my hay, I am going to have to be without dairy animals. I am unable to haul hay from the barn that our neighbor loans us and get it to the goats pens at the house. My children serve me tirelessly and kindly and take care of the goats throughout the entire winter. In spring, I am more able to navigate outside, but I still can't do the heavier work.

I love goats...all animals really. We moved to Montana with a desire to teach our children animal husbandry. In Alaska, we had the blessing of living a seaside subsistence lifestyle. Our children learned a great deal alongside us about how to make a simple living on an island in southeast Alaska. They learned to eat roe, seaweed, bear, sea urchins and anything else the sea and shore had to share. They also learned how to catch, harvest, prepare and preserve these foods. What they really couldn't learn there was how to care for livestock and how to farm. In the 8 years we have been here, they have learned how to care for horses, goats, chickens and now we are being blessed to learn about (and make our first costly mistakes with) pigs. I suppose, that with the goals being mostly educational and the secondary goals of wanting to supply clean, organic foods for the table, having 6 years with dairy goats has probably served its purpose. All of my children but one can milk pretty well, they all know how to care for the feeding and watering needs of goats. They understand basic genetics and reproduction and they have a gratitude and respect for where their food comes from. Though I am sad (and wrestle with feeling like a failure) I trust God to supply a barn if we need one and in the mean time to give me the wisdom and contentment to adjust to whatever situation He allows me to be in.

God is good in Montana. How about where you are?



Lawana said...

Dear Mom,
While it makes me very sad to read this post, because I know how much you love and have invested in your goats, I am ever so proud of you for being able to make this heart wrenching decision: the decision to let go. I wish that I were able to help you more with your beloved livestock, for I too am sad to see them go. Please rest in knowing that you are not a failure, but stronger than most for being able to make the right decision. I love you trust that the Lord will give you a barn in his timing.
Your loving daughter,

Nannie said...

God is always good, and he has his own timeline for our lives. If it be God's will you will get your goats again, or still whichever the case may be. If until you do you get lonely for the love a goat hug or kiss, come by and mine will kiss and hug away. Here is a prayer for your barn, if it be God's will, love Debbie

Lawana said...

Thanks, Mary-Hannah and Nannie. It is such a blessing to have your support!

2 Moms of a Feather...Stick Together said...

Hey Lawana,
I am sad for you that you are giving up your goats. I did not understand why people even had animals, until I met you. Thank you for teaching this "city girl", I have come to appreciate the love you have for all your animals.
You have a special "gift" with animals that I cannot even come close to understanding.
Praying for you in all areas often.
Love ya bunches,